Thursday, October 07, 2010

Boobs sell, sex doesn't!

It’s your girlfriend’s ROM this weekend! And what do you get for her?!

Pardon my dirty mind, but the ONLY thing that comes to my head is anything that’s sexually evocative. Here you are, putting two adults together into that life-long love commitment to each other – promised with a ring, sealed with a kiss. Even though chastity is not that commonly protected in the society nowadays, ROM is still the turning point where sex becomes legal - It’s the perfect setup for Biology Chapter 13 during my time.

Togetherness is about attraction, in every aspect: Physical, character and the ability to clique. The latter 2 can be changed, accepted and nurtured over time – it’s just a matter of getting used to each other’s style. But the former can be enhanced. ;p Perhaps that was also a reason why I got the “PURE SEDUCTION” body cream from J babe 4 years ago, when I was new in my relationship. J Well, if J babe you are reading this, I caught that cheeky sparkle in your eye when you offered me the PURE SEDUCTION instead of the BERRY KISSES! And I have always been suspicious about it but not inquisitive enough to ask.

Now I have come to terms with talking about boobs and sex more openly (only in my blog). My colleagues talk sex to me all the time – not in the erotic way, but in a rather motherly way with family planning as the façade agenda (hoho! You cheeky mothers!). I still blush and don’t know how to react sometimes. Other times, it took me a while to realize that they were talking about sex! N had a backache a while back from our initial weight-lifting lessons. So while doing lunch shopping at the pharmacy with the colleagues, I browsed through the yokoyoko shelf that displayed a wide array of pain relief patches and explained to my colleague why I was looking at those. I said something while still browsing through the choices, “don’t know why my boyfriend having backache….so must buy this one for him….” And that elicited a response, “How do we know why he backache? Maybe he bends down too much lah…” I looked up briefly and absentmindedly mumbled an “OH…” before going back to browse for the correct yokoyoko patch. But I caught the glint in her eyes that instant. It only dawned onto me much later that she was talking sex to me. x_x

I guess with age comes maturity. And when you become mature, you can handle adult topics with better grace. J It no longer becomes a hush and blush Chapter 13 taboo topic! You start hearing sexual questions at the truth and dare games. You start entering adult shops with your head held high. ;p And naturally, the only thing you think about getting for the newly-weds is anything that is sexually driven – I have got a good track record so far! ;p

But truth be told, I realized sex doesn’t sell if sold the wrong way!

Z babe and I were shopping for the perfect night lingerie at La Senza last evening. Since I already kinda announced my wedding bell to Z, she told me to point out to her what is the sorta lingerie I fancy so it would make things easier for her next time. Without thinking, I pointed to that FUSCHIA corseted nightie (bra fitted top with silk drapes downwards till butt area) and told her that would do. In my favorite color, anything goes!

So we proceeded to find that perfect one for the bride-to-be. We found one. Corset bra with see-through netted fabric from bustline to buttline. Since it was a corseted top, it had to fit a certain bra size. But how many of you girls know your friend’s actual bra size?? I mean, I am proud to say I can differentiate an A-cup from a B-cup or C-cups or D-cup. BUT a bra fitting is more than just that! There are also the circumference (32, 34, 36, 38), the type of cup (whether A-, A or A+) and the cutting/padding to consider. It’s not a buy one size fits your boobs every time thing. Buying a bra can be a learned subject on its own, so let’s not delve into that.

So we were deciding between the S and the M, and almost chose the M because the PTP fitted my body frame better. The salesgirls were quite nice to explain to us the difference between an S and the M. I guess they were just trying to be kind by not telling me I have small boobs (o.o||) I told them the bride’s my size and M’s PTP fitted me, so we were getting the M. So they suggested that I try on that skimpy little black slutty outfit on the counter top *shudders* (in sexcitement) Seriously?! As much joy as I had buying these sexy lil things for the girlfriends, I had never thought of myself getting this close to sucha kinky situation! But my protest against trying out the size was faltered – there was a no exchange policy….. and M’s meant for…. bigger cups.

Ya. So I finally got the hint. They tried to make us buy the smaller size because I said bride’s my size and one look at my boobs, they knew I don’t have enough to wear an M! How come a recent survey I read shows that women in Singapore are generally getting larger in size but I don’t happen to fall into that stratum? *suicidal*

So I went into the changing room and thought I could salvage my life by donning on that skimpy outfit which, by the way, only covers the boobs since the remaining areas are see-through. I thought I could maybe look like one of those Victoria Secrets models who look so stunningly sexy in whatever lingerie they are modeling. *think a little cleavage peeping out from behind the fitted bra top*

SADLY, and I conclude for all girls who are going to get lingerie for their bride-to-be friends – All corseted lingerie are meant for much bigger cups k??!!! My boobs were totally covered by the bra. There was no spillage, no cleavage. No nothing. No signs of boobs. I wasn’t even the least attracted to what I saw in the mirror; much less expect my man to get turned on by me. *suicidal thoughts getting heavier*

“Babe! Get the S and DON’T EVER get this for me next year!!!” *the bride is more well endowed*

I think I will stick to decently padded push up brassieres in the bedroom next time. Talk about physical attraction. At least I wouldn’t feel like killing myself again this way.

FUCK. 

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