Growing up, dad had always been a strict and stern figure at home. He was the sole breadwinner for our family of 5. We didn't have many 'luxurious' toys then. My first Barbie doll was a Christmas gift from a friend's dad when I was about 9 or 10 years old. Our first experience with the Sony machine (or what did you call those game boxes that you stuffed cartridges in and play pacman?) was when my Uncle bought a set and put it at our house for us to play during the holidays.
Dad was strict when it comes to how we spent our pocket money. I remember hiding my thick stash of artiste and cartoon cards and a pack of Bobdog mini poker card set from him; and my sis, her tamagochi. But dad always made sure we had enough pocket monies and was always willing to give that extra blue crisp note whenever (ok, not too often) when we needed to go out during the weekends of school holidays. And he always made sure we get new clothes, shoes and bags for CNY - *edit* actually I think mum makes sure he paid for those because she strongly believes in having new things to wear during the New Year, down to the underwear.
We seldom eat out during dinners. And Dad didn't do restaurants.
It didn't hit upon me then, but it must have been hard and stressful for him to provide for all of us.
He lets Mom do all the disciplinary at home and rarely interferes in this aspect. But, we were all more 'afraid' of him somehow.
Dad got his first car when I was 16.
But he didn't drive around much. Mainly because he is unfamiliar with roads (I think I got this genes and so my heavy reliance on the GPS!), but I think also because he is lazy. ^_^ The number of destinations he goes to can be counted with my fingers. They are mainly our schools, my mum's markets and his office. My workplace was added much later on when I started going to work at 7ams and could hitch a ride from him since it was on the way to his office (He actually bothered to go and find out that it was enroute). DO NOT remind me of those days. Oh! But those days made me see Dad in a different light. I began to sense his fatherly love.
Pardon me, but we are not the kind of chummy family who expressively show our love for one another.
Oh! N&I got him a GPS later on, but found him and mum using it to play games at home. -_-"
As far as I could remember, dad only became a little more cheerful and jovial with us in the recent 10-15 years. My memory's fuzzy because I always remembered him as a stern and strict fatherly figure. He also started to eat out more often and began to hit the restaurants once in a while. Sometimes, he will go to eatery places recommended by Channel 8 with my mum, provided they are within reasonable distance in his context. But he will choose to take a public transport there because 'parking very leychey' and 'it's more relaxing to sit in a bus or a mrt'.
But he is still not adventurous enough to venture to faraway places that we would love to bring him to, even when we offer to chauffeur him -_-" My dad is a creature of familiarity. He opts to go to places he is familiar with ie nearby. On the rare one occasion N&I and my sisters and my mom managed to get his ass to Geylang for our favourite crab, he got hooked and is now a return customer. We have not achieved success with any other of our frequent haunts till now. He sometimes still nag at us to save $ ah.. don't always go res-tor-rents..:p He doesn't expect us to splurge on his special days too.
And then when we got married, Dad surprised me with his generosity by giving us a cheque. I was dumbfounded by his gesture. Mum surprised me too by bringing out a box of jewellery that she secretly bought mannnny years ago just to await each of us for our big day - but mum was never one to be stingy about money, so though I was touched, I wasn't equally touched. ;p
And then D came along.
And I saw a completely different side of my dad altogether.
He had a new destination readily added to his car's list of limited destinations - my house. Dad sent me breakfast cum lunch almost every day while I was on maternity leave. He said he was afraid I would be depressed and I think that played a great part in keeping the depression at bay. On hindsight, I really think the post-natal blues might have set in if it hadn't been for their constant presence and support because I did get rid of our part time helper during my confinement.
He will even specially come down to fetch D & I whenever we are due for a staycation at his place, even though I tell him I am ok to catch a cab.
Mom secretly revealed that he did not carry us nor take much care of us (in terms of nappies/milk/bathes) when we were tiny little beings. But somehow things changed when he became a granddad. He became very hands on with D. I found it hard to believe it was his first time handling a baby. So D is very attached to my dad.
He has now also added another new destination to his list of limited destinations - D's IFC.
He sent me an SMS in the wee hours this morning when he saw that it was raining, followed by a phone call later on. Somehow he doesn't know how to spell his SIL name :D
That's how he shows his love, my fatherly figure - someone whom I grew up fearing and keeping many secrets from. Whom I now grow to respect and admire much more and willingly report my whereabouts to :D (See SMS dd 13 May below)
Things still haven't gotten chummy in the household but I really love my Papa!
He is contemplating retirement just so he could be there for D whenever N&I decide to go on an escapade, or whenever N is not in town so he could ferry D&I around.
Thank you, pa.
I will bring my D up in the same similar ways as you did us.
Similar, because if MY son wanna bring me out the next time I will sure tag along! :D
